Missed

Today would have been my cousin Gretchen’s 30th birthday. She was killed 6 years ago, unspeakably, by her neighbor. It happened on my birthday actually, not long before she was supposed to stand up in my wedding. She was my dearest, longest, loyalist friend and when it happened I wondered if there would ever come a day when I would stop crying about it. I am at peace now, but still remorseful that I did not get to share this special milestone with her. She would have made a beautiful 30-year-old.

To honor her this year, I created a book to send to her daughter, Mackenzie, in the U.P. (she will be turning 9 on Easter). I am fortunate to remain in touch with Mackenzie’s step-mom through Facebook and she recently said she thought Mackenzie would like to know more about her birth mom. Since Mackenzie was only two when Gretchen died, I am sure she remembers little to nothing. It aches inside when I think about my kids not remembering me and all the love I have for them.

Compiling the book was cathartic, to say the least. I had to scan in every picture since they were taken in the days before digital. Then I had to lay it out and write it in a way that was relatable to a nine-year-old.

I am very happy with the way it turned out. I think it would have made Gretchen happy too.

I am so grateful for the way Gretchen’s birthdate falls just before Easter this year. It reminds me that she is better off than all of us now, thanks to the ultimate sacrifice of our risen Lord. It fills me with peace.

Before I sign off, I want to say:
Please love the people who are in your life today. Love them, and tell them so.

Lastly, when someone talks to you about their loss, there’s no need to be awkward. Your eyes will express your sorrow, even if your words can not.