February 22nd . 2017

Glory to God

The morning of my Dad’s death, my devotional said this:
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)
I thought, now that’s a weird one for me today.

I see now how God was going ahead of me to show me his unfailing love. That’s kind of how it is with God, often at best we can see where he has just been. (See Exodus 33:23).

I find it important to talk about where I have seen the back of God who has just passed by in my life, for there is honestly nothing more important than our Creator caring enough to intervene personally.

The morning of my Dad’s memorial, my aunt caught herself humming Amazing Grace. She didn’t know what it was, so she asked my Grandma to verify. That afternoon, unbeknownst to my aunt or anyone else, my cousin and his daughter were moved to play one song with their guitars by my Dad’s graveside: Amazing Grace. We all sang along and our aunt was especially amazed, pondering this thing in her heart. The next morning at church, the song Amazing Grace appeared as our second song of worship. This is a song we sing at our church maybe once a year. I covered my face with my hair and wept. That heavy and real moment was as near as I can liken looking our loving God in the face as I can conceive of in this lifetime.

You will never convince me that God doesn’t care about me. And I know, by His grace, He saved my Dad. 100%

Amazing grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now I’m found.
Was blind but now I see.
‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved.
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.
When we’ve been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise
Then when we first begun.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I’m found.
Was blind, but now I see

February 21st . 2017

Windless

My Dad died last week, right in the middle of an everyday Thursday, chopping down a tree. Since then I’ve been just trying to navigate life and understand what this really means for the rest of it. Mostly I’ve felt very peaceful since his memorial service. But I know there will be some turbulence along the way. A real thing about grief is that it is exhausting. Many things that are very normal responsibilities feel overwhelming right now. So forgive me, this space might be a little spotty for a while. But I also know the thing about grief is that it does subside.


I lift my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord.

Psalm 121:1

February 15th . 2017

Committed

So far this week we’ve booked an airbnb for Midwinter Break. Airfare to Utah(!) for Spring Break. Registered to run a 3-generation race on Mother’s Day. Lined up numerous substitute yoga teachers, pet sitters and approvals for bringing a dog along. Determined the exact date we we will be able to reserve our August run-camp-run sites. And secured numerous birthday presents. We are now broke. Excited! But broke.

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